Giving Thanks

I am a huge fan of Life.  I love living it.  Almost seven years ago I made the decision to begin living with purpose as opposed to just “living”/existing.  I remember early on in 2013 when I discovered Dr. Wayne Dyer something that he did daily that really struck a chord with me.  The very first thing he did was to say Thank You three times as soon as his feet touched the floor as he was getting out of bed.  Starting the day off with gratitude.  That was something I decided to add to the beginning of my laundry list of morning affirmations and prayers.

Thanksgiving comes once a year and is an amazing time to connect with family and loved ones but Giving Thanks daily is something that should not be overlooked.  For me, it is incredibly important to express my gratitude, my thanks for this amazing abundant life I am living in.  Sometimes while walking around the house I pause and then it hits me.  This wave of gratitude.  It hitches my breath.  It’s like an incredible dream that I am fully immersed in.  Yesterday morning, after my run, I was walking around outside the house in cooldown and got to the backyard.  Looked towards the sunrise and I lost my breath once again.  I am not a very good photographer, but I could not help but capture that moment of pure joy.

I am so grateful for this community of WordPress in which we can connect.  Thank you for taking the time to stop by and thank you so much for the messages in which you spread as well.  I wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving!  May you and yours be filled with joy and harmony during this special time.  Let’s continue to positively raise the frequency of our world and Shine our Light.

Thank you

Thank You

Thank YOU

Handy Hardware

Hi!  Been a while! Few weeks maybe? Not like I had any excuse not to write but well I suppose life pushed me another way.  I’ll be honest with you, I’m not a fan of breaking bones.  The feature photo is pretty much a testament to that.  No, no, no that was nine years ago.  However, recently I did take an unfortunate “intentional” spill while roller skating.  Intentional as in I had to “or else” type of a deal.  A little girl came literally out of nowhere!  I couldn’t even think, just drop, and as it had been about 30yrs since I last fell, I was not used to it and landed exactly how I shouldn’t have.  Brace my fall when I hit the ground and…ouch.  Small fracture on my right wrist with a cast for a few weeks to boot.  I remember in the moment thinking how bad it hurt but at the same time a sigh of relief that I didn’t ruin that little girl’s day.  I tried to act cool, shook it off, continued on, and on, and on until it really started throbbing.  Yes, I need to leave.  As I was unlacing, I knew right away that I had to go to the hospital.  Couldn’t move my hand.  I was like, Oh crap. So, a cast and a few weeks excusing myself from typing things.  I’ll be honest though; I was not happy about the cast.  I wanted to gnaw it off.  It even slightly depressed me. Me. ME?  I thought it was impossible, but it happened and after a week or so, I knew there was a lesson here for me. Take a step back, Ben, and then a few more steps back. Slow down.  I really did not have to be going as fast as I was when the little girl came out.  Not necessary.  I’m more about precision and finesse. I am ready to go back.

Nine years ago, I had to learn a lot of lessons.  The main thing I was learning was how to feel sorry for myself.  Lessons in pain management without prescription medication (not a fan). On the right-hand side of the photo above of my left, not so funny, humerus, is the first surgery.  A rod, two pins at the shoulder and elbow areas. I spent six months pretty much suffering in silence.  No clue that the double fracture was not even healing.  No union.  It wasn’t until my brigade surgeon asked me when my last x-ray was…I was like, oh man, ummm right after the surgery.  No follow-ups and I am generally too stubborn to go to the doctor as, “I got this”.  I didn’t.  A second surgery to install a plate with a bunch of screws, bone from my hip, and a heck of a scar.  I remember at the time that the doctor’s orders were to have the plate removed after 18 months.  By that time, I was stateside again, and when I went into orthopedics at Fort Sill, they were adamant that it was not coming out.  Period. I absolutely refused to believe that. No way.  It’s coming out.  I was having these infrequent but frequent enough for concern issues where my arm would feel like an electric shock for a split second and I my arm would just go numb.  I’m like, I need a second opinion, this is BS.  There is a screw or screws that’s rubbing against the wrong thing in my arm to make it go kablooey.  I managed to convince the doc for a second opinion where I traveled down south to Fort Sam Houston and saw a traumatologist. He was probably the most intelligent sounding doctor to this day that I have ever come across. He told me he could take it out, but he also very clearly articulated what was going on in my arm. Scar tissue. The scar tissue was rubbing the radial nerve at times. He said that with another surgery the scar tissue would more than likely be exacerbated annnnnnnnnnnd…I could potentially lose the use of my arm permanently.

As Stan Lee was fond of saying, “’nuff said”. I spent the rest of the day in kind of a numb daze. The rest of my life. Within six months after that second opinion, my Shift occurred. I began living intentionally. I had used my arm as a crutch, an excuse for so many things, and deep down inside I knew it was BS. This hardware was a part of me now.  I decided that if was a part of me then I am a part of it. It is Me. No more wallowing in self-pity. I’m a runner, a roller skater. My arms aid me in my momentum. My arms are my wings. In over six and a half years I have never had any more arm numbing experiences.

There is a profound sense of well-being when you Surrender. I am not giving up.  I Let Go and Let God.

Have a great week everyone!

Canyon Lake Retreat – Love (2014 writings continued)

I just had no idea.  No clue.  What is/was love?  I never truly knew until I fell in Love with mySelf.  It’s the Greatest Love in this physical reality.  “You’re OK.”  “I kind of like you.”  “You’re cool…I guess.”  Those are the kind of things I would think or feel.  After the Shift, something dawned on me.  I Loved Me.  It’s this love that gave me the strength to let my girlfriend, Eiris, go.  I do LOVE her.  I came to realize it was different though.  It wasn’t fair to her or myself to keep the relationship going (her in Germany and me back stateside).  It wasn’t in my mind at the time, almost a year ago, but it began to take shape and form recently.  “She” is out there.  She is looking for me as well.  Well.  I guess “looking” kind of doesn’t describe “it”.  Waiting.  A Waiting.  Waiting for that moment when we are in alignment.  When that moment comes, we will be walking next to each other all of the sudden and realize we have always been walking next to each other.  When?  Good question.  Whenever the moment of alignment occurs.  A day?  Maybe a couple months.  10yrs.  Who knows with these things…

Canyon Lake Retreat – A Heading into Eternity

It is a direction our Sun is taking us through this Galaxy.  We’ve made this trip before.  Well.  Not us personally.  Personally, we see ourselves traveling around the Sun 365 days a year.  The Sun is a Traveler as well and we are along for the ride.  It actually has something to do with how I “woke up” as if in a deep sleep.  And the Sun continues on a course it knows so well and yet unchartered waters for our 3D forms (Body/Mind).  The Spirit aspect already KNOWS and continues its waiting for The Next Moment.  What is “this” Eternity we are heading toward?  I do not know anything specific whatsoever.  A Feeling.  We are heading into Something Wonderful.  The closer we get, the stronger I feel.  There has been the New Feeling as of late.  Thanks to the Universe directing me back to Christian D. Larson, I rediscovered Poise and Power and finally read the book after owning it for almost a year.  I seemed to be content with listening to the first four chapters on youtube.  Finally.  I was ready.  This incredible strength that had been growing and growing, combined with the Peace that was re-experienced a year ago was developing and molding into this This Poise.  I had a name for it now.  Poise.  But even now as I am giving consideration to this word, I know it is changing and Growing into More.  Whatever the “more” is, I’m not sure there is an earthly/human word to describe It.  Maybe that is why I am here.  Maybe that was why the Voice told me to begin writing this story.  I am heading into Eternity.  Eternity is Now.  Forever.

Canyon Lake Retreat – Getting Away

I got away.  Here.  Not that there was any pressure getting to me.  There was none.  The Voice spoke, I Listened, and here I am.  A Get-Away weekend with Nature.  I have met a few cats, a couple peacocks, a deer, some wildflowers, trees, birds (some high gliding birds of prey as well), and of course the Lake.  A Get-Away, not a run away, more like “getting back to the basics”.  Writing.  Reading new things (The Great Within, Tao te Ching), reconnecting with old, which are like NEW all over again (Your Forces and How to Use Them, The Pathway of Roses).  It’s been raining.  Good Nature Nourishment.  Was looking for a sunny sunrise over the lake but there is always tomorrow.  It’s fine.  Everything is happening as it is Happening.  The Sun has not gone anywhere.

Canyon Lake Retreat – Harmony

And there It IS.  Harmony.  A True Balance of the aspects of Physicality, Mentality, Spirituality.  To continually achieve Harmony, you have to what I call Tending Your Garden.  Daily.  Gardens need nurturing else they will not flourish.  You give it water, fertilizer, pull the weeds.  Pulling the weeds is vital unless you would like your garden overtaken.  Hence, FREE Will.  A choice that the Majority choose not to keep a prosperous garden.  Oh they may take care to keep a beautiful body, but the soul is in despair and ugly things permeate the mind.  Maybe great attention is given to soulful prayers with determined faith and conviction but…they care little for what they ingest into their body, their temple, and have let themselves go.

Feed and nourish ALL THREE ASPECTS DAILY and you will find Balance, Peace, and Harmony.

Canyon Lake Retreat – The Deep Faith

And here I sit contemplating at Canyon Lake Resort (4 Apr 14), The Deep Faith.  I can Hear the Quiet watching.  Always Watching.  Non-interference.  Just always waiting for…the Next, and the Next, and the Next.  (There is a certain humor there that I am hesitant to discuss in the moment).  This Quiet Always Stillness Presence just IS.  No judgement.  Just THERE.  I know that it is the basis where the Voice manifests.  I had come to refer to It (me) as my Higher-Self.  And I know without question or doubt that this Awareness is Infinite.  It is God.  That aspect of God individualized in Me.  Take a microscopic molecule of water from the vast ocean.  The ocean is still there in that tiny spec, just individualized.  My Spirit, my Soul, the tiniest molecule removed from the Infinite Vastness of Source, of God. 

As Above, so below.

The same applies here as to the other two aspects (Body, Mind).  Laying the Foundation, continue to build, creating newer and even stronger foundations.  The daily reminder.  Prayer – Meditation.  You cannot fully live in the external 3-D world unless you live in, explore, and fully express The Great Within.

Canyon Lake Retreat – The Spirit (2014 writings continued)

The Stillness within.  The Serenity that is.  I finally found mySelf about a year ago.  Four months after The SHIFT.  I had been feeling this Presence more and more profoundly.  What is This?  When finally, the Voice spoke up.  This is Peace.  I “knew” this Feeling.  I remembered.  It had been so long.  Since I was a baby.  The continuous distractions thrown at us forces us to forget as we struggle to “keep up” with the reality presented to us.  Purifying my body, training my mind, allowed me to remember who I am.  So, one day after having come to terms with the Stillness that was always there, lying in bed, I asked the question.  THE QUESTION.  Who Am I?  The response came back with such profound depth and surety.   I Am Good.  The tears flowed immediately.  It was something else that I forgot.  I always knew I was good (as a little boy).  I grew up and battled “the distractions”, the negatives.  Amnesia followed.  We have forgotten so much.  Meditation is necessary.  You need to allow time for your Self.  Even if it is just allowing yourself to breathe.  A daily connection to You.  And Prayer.  I am not religious.  Spiritual.  So, after several months of prayer and meditation I began to Feel something else stirring.  When I asked about it the answer I received was…The Deep Faith.

Canyon Lake Retreat – The Mind

The Canyon Lake Retreat – The Mind

Our “intellect” is what it is.  So bio/socio it is.  We think therefore We Are.  So why not think the Best of Thought.  I always knew I was so much more.  The Voice in the back of my head nudging me forward…and the “Mind” holding me back.  Fears and doubts…make for cloudy skies.  We are so so so easily trained.  TV does it daily with the Majority (programs/programming).  I looked back 20yrs ago and found a distinct period where I was so easily trained.  I Am a Marine.  They are the best of the US military branches in that Mental aspect of shaping/growing Marines.  Why couldn’t I do that to myself?  To think only good and wholesome thoughts.  As with the Body, I needed to establish a foundation.  For me it was The Optimist Creed by Christian d. Larson from the book, Your Forces and How to Use Them.  A daily repetition (three times a day to begin with for a couple of months) of these words had a profound effect on my Mental Conditioning.  I had already (several years ago) removed TV but next removed reading news, social media outlets.  Anything that had the potentiality to produce negative thought.  Gone.  All that remains (and Grows) is all that is Good.  A year later and I decided to build (more).  Lumosity.  Brain games.  Still a work in progress as we continue to lay stronger and yet STRONGER Foundations.

Thinking without Feeling.  Feeling without Thinking.  Letting.  Allowing.  Being.  And without further drama, plus the effects, we Move On and Up.

Canyon Lake Retreat – The Body


Here it is.  My getaway four-day weekend at Canyon Lake while I was stationed in San Antonio almost five years ago now.  I had this journal, The Wave, that I had gotten months prior but only used to capture either strange dreams or odd events that transpired around me.  Finally, I had a chance to put it to some real good use.  A Retreat for Me and to allow words just flow into me without much thought.  Reflect on my feelings of the past year in a variety of topics that came to me when they came to me.  It’s pretty private and I had never intended to share, BUT after this week everything has shifted into a new gear.  Fourteen sections beginning with today’s section.

The Body

The Mind

Spirit

The Deep Faith

Harmony

Getting Away

A Heading into Eternity

Love

Forever Now – Time

The Smile

The Human

The Heart Grows Fonder

Captain, Incoming Message

So Long

A Story (with Brevity in Mind)

4-5-14

There is no beginning and no end.  Hell of a way to start a story.  It’s just a Way.  My Way.  I didn’t intend to write anything.  You know how that “Voice” goes though.  If you surrendered, then you Always Listen.

The Body

The body is Amazing.  Trillions of components (actually infinite) all making the whole.  It’s the vehicle that makes this physical dimension possible.  The body is the key to developing the other aspects of Self. (Spirit/Mind)  There are these tremendously appropriate sayings we’ve always heard.  You are what you eat.  Garbage in Garbage out.  So true.  I like to think of it as Respect.  Do you respect yourSelf.  Do you?  How can the body even begin to have a chance being in a State of Joy.  A statement.  Not questioning.  Each and every cell, every atom needs nourishment of substance in order to Thrive.  This was the Beginning (but not really) for me.  It can start anywhere.  Mind/Body/Spirit.  The goal of which is Harmony.  All working together separately and as One.  A plan needs to be established for the daily sustenance which enriches the Body.  What is, where is this Plan?  It is communicated through the Spirit and Intellect.  It develops and Grows, and…It is for You.  The important thing is to BEGIN to lay a FOUNDATION.  Make it SOLID.  Continue to Build.  Never stop going Up.