Hi there! I felt the need to highlight something that I glossed over / overlooked when I was writing my ReNewal (3) blog post. I was on my run this morning and doing as I do, I either reflect on the past, look forward to the future, and also enjoy the moment I am in (particularly breathing, Love It). So, I was reflecting on my 2013 “Awakening” / Shifting year and feeling the gratitude that encompasses it all. But I remembered a Crucial Key that I just breezed right over in that aforementioned blog post. There was something else in the background at that time and dawned on me this morning. I wrote how I was comfortable with the idea of giving up the “dream job” being a general’s aide in order to assist my incoming boss who was panicking that I was leaving, and he would be left to fend alone. There WAS something else. My Soul Sister was deployed to Afghanistan beginning the summer of 2012. It was strange being on the other end of sending letters and care packages as opposed to receiving them whilst downrange. She was always in the forefront of my mind in wishing her well, praying for her safe return. She was coming back at the end of July 2013 and was going to be on leave for quite a while. She had this amazing week planned where we would meet up in Las Vegas and really paint the town. There was one small problem with this plan though. When I got the job as the general’s aide, I would NOT be going on the dream vacation / reunion with my sister. I would be at a general’s beck and call. I knew she would be incredibly disappointed and so would have I, even double so as I am on the more empathic side picking up her disappointment on top of my own. Law of Attraction-wise…I know that deep deep down I would have wanted to see her again after being separated for more than a year rather than getting that dream job that I knew was mine. In the blog, ReNewal (3), I got the word that I didn’t get the position, felt the relief wash over me and an eagerness to Get to Work for my new boss………and put in my leave papers to go to Las Vegas to be with my sister. On the run this morning, I realized what my Heart truly wanted to do. Be together again with my best friend and see her with my own eyes knowing that she was back home. Safe and sound. She truly was the Crucial Key to get me to my REAL dream job in San Antonio later that year. Amazing!
The humor I mentioned much earlier…Well…It’s funny. A year ago, in May (2013 as this retreat was in 2014), I was on the early morning run, somewhere between 0430-0500, running down Flower Mound Rd in Lawton, OK when all of the sudden the Voice in my head said, “STOP.” I did. “Turn around.” I did. “Look up.” I did and saw the vastness of space, and the stars and…what the…? A star flashed brightly. Perplexed I started to turn around, but I looked again, FLASH <again!>. Incredible. I was astonished but felt good, safe. I was about to start running but had this thought. I have some kind of star map app on my phone. Held it up and gave the star that flashed a name. Alderamin. Never heard of it. Anyway, this all doesn’t sound all that funny but a couple weeks later, about the same time of the morning, different road, the Voice said, “STOP, look up…” I’m like, OK? I see stars! That’s it? When all of the sudden over my headphones I hear, “CAPTAIN, INCOMING MESSAGE!” (Mr. Worf from Star Trek, incoming text/email sound byte). And then what I felt/heard…Laughter. Like someone was playing a cosmic prank on me! Funny. (There is a lot of them but just hitting a couple of the biggies) A few months later at my friend/soul sister’s apartment just after the whole Beth Episode (maybe some other day) and was walking from her bathroom back to the living room (barefoot), thinking about Beth, a strange quirky smile and this indescribable FEELING and…SPLAT. Walked right onto Sushi or Snoopy’s dog poo. Heard the Laughter again. There IS this playful sense of humor in the Universe which has fun with us all the time and when you are tuned in, you can laugh too 😀
There is never goodbye. Just till the next moment. My Moment at Canyon Lake is moving into the next moment. It was Quiet. It was Fun. I Am Here to Have Fun. BUT. I am also here to Help. A kind word here and there. Ernest advice. An ear to Listen. A Smile…Infinitely
An Experience. To what end? The Spiritual Being of Love and Light manifested into physical form. Why would such a Being do this? Can you even fathom what it would be like to be pure Energy, pure Love? All the other individualizations of the One all experiencing the same. Enter the physical realm. Be “Born”. Live. Experience. Grow/Expand. Find yourSelf. Fall back into Love. Well. I guess to put it mildly, I am more referring to Me here, but not everyone wants to have the same experience. Some feel MORE by the suffering incurred upon them, which makes them appreciate the Love/Light they are even more. And then there’s Me. I did suffer. Mostly self-induced in retrospect. It seemed like I was always one step away from my Awakening. Something would always “happen” though. Some tragedy or travesty, some “whatever” that would send me back down the levels of consciousness. I finally got through to the physical vessel which carries Me. We are Spirit of The One Source and we will continue on in this Eternal Moment when the physical is no more.
It is a liberating feeling in knowing that Time does not exist. Well. It does and it doesn’t. The human mind created it. A need to measure duration. Beginnings & Endings. So in that sense “Time” is real. We are creators in the exact likeness of God. That being said, I know that Time is not real. It’s a Feeling. The Feeling that all there is IS this Moment. An Eternal Moment without end and which never began. Paradoxical, I know. Contradictory, sure. A Gut Feeling, you bet. Everything in the past is gone and yet kept alive as much as we want in our own minds. The future is a series of moments that we haven’t reached yet. Forever is Eternally Now. The Moment that never ends, the Moment that never begins. The Moment that just always IS.
I just had no idea. No clue. What is/was love? I never truly knew until I fell in Love with mySelf. It’s the Greatest Love in this physical reality. “You’re OK.” “I kind of like you.” “You’re cool…I guess.” Those are the kind of things I would think or feel. After the Shift, something dawned on me. I Loved Me. It’s this love that gave me the strength to let my girlfriend, Eiris, go. I do LOVE her. I came to realize it was different though. It wasn’t fair to her or myself to keep the relationship going (her in Germany and me back stateside). It wasn’t in my mind at the time, almost a year ago, but it began to take shape and form recently. “She” is out there. She is looking for me as well. Well. I guess “looking” kind of doesn’t describe “it”. Waiting. A Waiting. Waiting for that moment when we are in alignment. When that moment comes, we will be walking next to each other all of the sudden and realize we have always been walking next to each other. When? Good question. Whenever the moment of alignment occurs. A day? Maybe a couple months. 10yrs. Who knows with these things…
It is a direction our Sun is taking us through this Galaxy. We’ve made this trip before. Well. Not us personally. Personally, we see ourselves traveling around the Sun 365 days a year. The Sun is a Traveler as well and we are along for the ride. It actually has something to do with how I “woke up” as if in a deep sleep. And the Sun continues on a course it knows so well and yet unchartered waters for our 3D forms (Body/Mind). The Spirit aspect already KNOWS and continues its waiting for The Next Moment. What is “this” Eternity we are heading toward? I do not know anything specific whatsoever. A Feeling. We are heading into Something Wonderful. The closer we get, the stronger I feel. There has been the New Feeling as of late. Thanks to the Universe directing me back to Christian D. Larson, I rediscovered Poise and Power and finally read the book after owning it for almost a year. I seemed to be content with listening to the first four chapters on youtube. Finally. I was ready. This incredible strength that had been growing and growing, combined with the Peace that was re-experienced a year ago was developing and molding into this This Poise. I had a name for it now. Poise. But even now as I am giving consideration to this word, I know it is changing and Growing into More. Whatever the “more” is, I’m not sure there is an earthly/human word to describe It. Maybe that is why I am here. Maybe that was why the Voice told me to begin writing this story. I am heading into Eternity. Eternity is Now. Forever.
The Canyon Lake Retreat – The Mind
Our “intellect” is what it is. So bio/socio it is. We think therefore We Are. So why not think the Best of Thought. I always knew I was so much more. The Voice in the back of my head nudging me forward…and the “Mind” holding me back. Fears and doubts…make for cloudy skies. We are so so so easily trained. TV does it daily with the Majority (programs/programming). I looked back 20yrs ago and found a distinct period where I was so easily trained. I Am a Marine. They are the best of the US military branches in that Mental aspect of shaping/growing Marines. Why couldn’t I do that to myself? To think only good and wholesome thoughts. As with the Body, I needed to establish a foundation. For me it was The Optimist Creed by Christian d. Larson from the book, Your Forces and How to Use Them. A daily repetition (three times a day to begin with for a couple of months) of these words had a profound effect on my Mental Conditioning. I had already (several years ago) removed TV but next removed reading news, social media outlets. Anything that had the potentiality to produce negative thought. Gone. All that remains (and Grows) is all that is Good. A year later and I decided to build (more). Lumosity. Brain games. Still a work in progress as we continue to lay stronger and yet STRONGER Foundations.
Thinking without Feeling. Feeling without Thinking. Letting. Allowing. Being. And without further drama, plus the effects, we Move On and Up.